The dignified sport of running.
My arse. Let me tell you why you should not take up running if you want to remain a dignified human being. So, when you get past the spitting regularly, sweating like a pig in the Sahara, hauling at underwear because you've forgotten this pair of knickers or this bra are the one's you decided last month should never be worn when running, swearing because your legs are tired or you just generally need an ambulance, you sometimes then get to contend with a little thing called gastro-intestinal distress. It is fun.
You can probably see where I'm going with this...but if you can't, yesterday's 21 mile run involved lots of diving into bushes. Joy of joys. If this doesn't deserve a donation, I seriously don't know what does.
Let me take you through the run, it went a little something like this:
5am, just set off, feeling okay, legs a touch lethargic having just woken up. Got myself prepared for the pissing rain with two pairs of socks, running leggings, 'waterproof' vest, sleeves, the whole shebang.
5.05am Everything soaked through.
5.10am Everything starting to go numb. Not too bothered - resigned myself to good old Scottish weather.
5.25am, 3 miles in and the stitches start. When I first started long distance running last year, I used to be quite bad for stitches but in the last six months I can honestly say I've not had one so this massive one under my right rib cage came as a bit of a surprise. Not to worry though, a few breathing exercises and twists as I go and I should run it out.
5.55am Holy shit, it's not going away and another one's starting.
Skip forward two hours and it's like someone's stabbed me multiple times underneath my rib cage and across my belly, I've had to go to the loo twice which never ever happens and I'm feeling like I'm going to throw up every two minutes. What is happening to me?! At this point I can't even blame it on the length of the run because two hours isn't an abnormal time for me to be running for.
Blaming it on the most likely case of dehydration, even though I drank before I left and have been sipping water for the last four miles, I go for the little extra fuel I brought with me, thinking it will help with water absorption (I sound like I know what I'm talking about here but really, I'm winging it). I've gone for something slightly different to normal (again, only because a magazine told me to) - a bottle of water with two packets of sugar and good couple of pinches of salt.
Holy mother of God, you have never tasted anything more disgusting in your life and no, no, no and again no, it definitely does not help with water absorption at this late stage in the game!! Two swigs in and I was heaving all over the place, not pretty for any of the poor people in the houses I was passing.
So we're at roughly 8am now and I'm close to tears knowing the two worst parts of the run are still to come and my entire abdomen would have felt better if a mad axeman had taken to it with his blunt axe. The only thing that got me up the two winding hills placed at 18 and 20 miles (one gradual and long, the other unimaginably steep) was good old imagery. I closed my eyes (probably not advisable while still running on winding country roads but hey, at this point I really didn't care if I was steam rolled by a crazed steam roller) and pictured myself on a beach - like really pictured it, sand under my feet, cool sea breeze, Pina Colada in hand, nice Greek-god-lookalike man to serve it to me and everything. I'm not kidding you, it got me through and will be my secret weapon from now on!
Despite all this, I still managed the 21 miles in 3 hours 40 minutes, working out at under 10 and half minutes a mile - loo breaks included! Not exactly fast but not shabby either.
Arriving home, and having to force down my usual glass of milk and cereal bar, I Googled what the hell was wrong with me (I know, always the worst thing you can do, but so much more convenient than going to a GP). And yes, I was right, GI distress is all down to the dehydration (once I got past the results that told me I was going to die of course). In hindsight, two coffees, one Red Bull, and a cheeky wee drink the previous evening would have all contributed to evacuating as much water from my body as possible, plus the lack of blood flow to the gut when running long distance and the constant movement was all a recipe for disaster. And apparently, once you're into the distressed mode, there ain't no getting out of it, no matter how much you drink. It's been 24 hours and I'm still feeling queasy!!
Anyway, my gut functions aside, the reason for the coffee and energy drinks (to keep me going) and alcohol (celebratory!) on Saturday was, of course, the very successful cake stall myself, my brother and my two best friends ran to give the fund raising a good kick start. Thanks goes to all the amazingly kind donations of cakes from The Auld Surgery Tearooms and 88Degrees in Kirriemuir, Purdy's Coffee House in Forfar, and also Tesco and Aldi in Forfar. Although Aldi themselves didn't donate, the Store Manager was unbelievably kind and paid for six boxes of cakes out of his own pocket!
We raised £250 altogether at the Armed Forces Day event, which has absolutely blown me away! Total donations are now up to £362.50!!
Thankfully, yesterday's was the last long run before the Dundee Half Marathon as I'm now tapering down, so I have a little time to get over the trauma!
Next up date will most likely be on race day at this half so for now, it's good bye from the still slightly queasy runner...
http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/ShauneyWatson
You can probably see where I'm going with this...but if you can't, yesterday's 21 mile run involved lots of diving into bushes. Joy of joys. If this doesn't deserve a donation, I seriously don't know what does.
Let me take you through the run, it went a little something like this:
5am, just set off, feeling okay, legs a touch lethargic having just woken up. Got myself prepared for the pissing rain with two pairs of socks, running leggings, 'waterproof' vest, sleeves, the whole shebang.
5.05am Everything soaked through.
5.10am Everything starting to go numb. Not too bothered - resigned myself to good old Scottish weather.
5.25am, 3 miles in and the stitches start. When I first started long distance running last year, I used to be quite bad for stitches but in the last six months I can honestly say I've not had one so this massive one under my right rib cage came as a bit of a surprise. Not to worry though, a few breathing exercises and twists as I go and I should run it out.
5.55am Holy shit, it's not going away and another one's starting.
Skip forward two hours and it's like someone's stabbed me multiple times underneath my rib cage and across my belly, I've had to go to the loo twice which never ever happens and I'm feeling like I'm going to throw up every two minutes. What is happening to me?! At this point I can't even blame it on the length of the run because two hours isn't an abnormal time for me to be running for.
Blaming it on the most likely case of dehydration, even though I drank before I left and have been sipping water for the last four miles, I go for the little extra fuel I brought with me, thinking it will help with water absorption (I sound like I know what I'm talking about here but really, I'm winging it). I've gone for something slightly different to normal (again, only because a magazine told me to) - a bottle of water with two packets of sugar and good couple of pinches of salt.
Holy mother of God, you have never tasted anything more disgusting in your life and no, no, no and again no, it definitely does not help with water absorption at this late stage in the game!! Two swigs in and I was heaving all over the place, not pretty for any of the poor people in the houses I was passing.
So we're at roughly 8am now and I'm close to tears knowing the two worst parts of the run are still to come and my entire abdomen would have felt better if a mad axeman had taken to it with his blunt axe. The only thing that got me up the two winding hills placed at 18 and 20 miles (one gradual and long, the other unimaginably steep) was good old imagery. I closed my eyes (probably not advisable while still running on winding country roads but hey, at this point I really didn't care if I was steam rolled by a crazed steam roller) and pictured myself on a beach - like really pictured it, sand under my feet, cool sea breeze, Pina Colada in hand, nice Greek-god-lookalike man to serve it to me and everything. I'm not kidding you, it got me through and will be my secret weapon from now on!
Despite all this, I still managed the 21 miles in 3 hours 40 minutes, working out at under 10 and half minutes a mile - loo breaks included! Not exactly fast but not shabby either.
Arriving home, and having to force down my usual glass of milk and cereal bar, I Googled what the hell was wrong with me (I know, always the worst thing you can do, but so much more convenient than going to a GP). And yes, I was right, GI distress is all down to the dehydration (once I got past the results that told me I was going to die of course). In hindsight, two coffees, one Red Bull, and a cheeky wee drink the previous evening would have all contributed to evacuating as much water from my body as possible, plus the lack of blood flow to the gut when running long distance and the constant movement was all a recipe for disaster. And apparently, once you're into the distressed mode, there ain't no getting out of it, no matter how much you drink. It's been 24 hours and I'm still feeling queasy!!
Anyway, my gut functions aside, the reason for the coffee and energy drinks (to keep me going) and alcohol (celebratory!) on Saturday was, of course, the very successful cake stall myself, my brother and my two best friends ran to give the fund raising a good kick start. Thanks goes to all the amazingly kind donations of cakes from The Auld Surgery Tearooms and 88Degrees in Kirriemuir, Purdy's Coffee House in Forfar, and also Tesco and Aldi in Forfar. Although Aldi themselves didn't donate, the Store Manager was unbelievably kind and paid for six boxes of cakes out of his own pocket!
We raised £250 altogether at the Armed Forces Day event, which has absolutely blown me away! Total donations are now up to £362.50!!
Thankfully, yesterday's was the last long run before the Dundee Half Marathon as I'm now tapering down, so I have a little time to get over the trauma!
Next up date will most likely be on race day at this half so for now, it's good bye from the still slightly queasy runner...
http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/ShauneyWatson
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